No videos added yet, and I'm no sure why the pictures are not showing.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Apps Bar App
Not quite finished.
Main Menu and Upcoming releases.
New releases from Oct-Nov
No videos added yet, and I'm no sure why the pictures are not showing.
No videos added yet, and I'm no sure why the pictures are not showing.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Creating a App
- What kind of mobile application am I building and why would people want to use it? I want to create a app that updates people on the most recent games published both online and as disc.
- Who are my specific users? The gaming community, age 15 - 40
- How are you going to keep and grow your user base? Constant updates along with developer interviews, Reviews, and a user based review station.
- How will I get my app on to my customers? Open up a business account via Facebook and Share it.
- Will I be able to make money with my application? Offer adds to businesses so that my app may remain free.
- What activities do I need to complete to publish this application? Research on the latest products. Start building the foundation, and remain in the loop on customer likes and dislikes.
- What resources do I need to produce this application? Images, references, customers, videos, and great templates.
Apps - Applications
- What is a “app"? A software program used to play music, games, etc.
- What you need to download and use an app? A credit card for the non-free apps and a system that is compatible with the app. (Android or Apple etc.)
- What types of data apps can access? Your contacts, call log, internet and calender data, location, Device ID, and how you use the app.
- Why some apps collect location data? Some apps use location data to provide maps, coupons, or information about who you might know nearby.
- Why some apps are free? Because adds pay for them, basic features are free but you may pay for special features, the game itself is a add so you will buy apps from the publisher.
- Why some apps have advertisements? That way they can offer the app at a lower price for the user.
- How app makers are able to customize advertisements to your specific interests? They access information on where you are located and what you are interested in. They typically ask this when you agree to Terms of Service.
- Why you should keep your apps updated? Older versions of the app will come to a point that they do not work on the server. Thus keeping it upgraded will allow you to continue using that app.
- Whether you can trust reviews about apps? You can to an extent, some times the publisher of the app will post fake comments telling good things about the app but reviews for th most part can be trusted.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Computer Clouds
What is a computer Cloud?
It is a way to share and gain access to any files that you have saved on any device any where. With this in mind a cloud is a gathering of data in one place and when you access that cloud it stats to rain so that you can see the data you need.
Where is the Cloud?
Under your nose; it is located on the network and can be opened through a web browser. Therefore the cloud is stored in a router and ready to be sent to you at any time. One of many Cloud services is Dropbox where you can store any information documents you want.
GROUPON:
Groupon started up in 2008 and quickly became a choice to help start up web sites. It uses other sites such as Amazon, and Salesforce.com to remain powered and flowing.
Groupon has not suffered in the market like many other sites because it has managed to keep up with the users. Groupon used Cloud computing to expand its band width so they could keep all the needed information but keep he site fast easily understood.
They use Salesforce.com to power deals that their customers make amongst each other. Groupon also uses Chatter so their employees may talk about deals and approve/deny or edit deals. These employees then take the information to a editorial staff who then posts it onto the Salesforce.com web site. This information then can be accessed any time for reference.
Resource for Groupon:
http://mashable.com/2011/03/24/groupon-cloud-computing/
It is a way to share and gain access to any files that you have saved on any device any where. With this in mind a cloud is a gathering of data in one place and when you access that cloud it stats to rain so that you can see the data you need.
Where is the Cloud?
Under your nose; it is located on the network and can be opened through a web browser. Therefore the cloud is stored in a router and ready to be sent to you at any time. One of many Cloud services is Dropbox where you can store any information documents you want.
GROUPON:
Groupon started up in 2008 and quickly became a choice to help start up web sites. It uses other sites such as Amazon, and Salesforce.com to remain powered and flowing.
Groupon has not suffered in the market like many other sites because it has managed to keep up with the users. Groupon used Cloud computing to expand its band width so they could keep all the needed information but keep he site fast easily understood.
They use Salesforce.com to power deals that their customers make amongst each other. Groupon also uses Chatter so their employees may talk about deals and approve/deny or edit deals. These employees then take the information to a editorial staff who then posts it onto the Salesforce.com web site. This information then can be accessed any time for reference.
Resource for Groupon:
http://mashable.com/2011/03/24/groupon-cloud-computing/
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Quote Galor!!
"Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother's love is not." - James Joyce
"We deny your internationalism, because it is a luxury which only the upper classes can afford; the working people are hopelessly bound to their native shores." - Benito Mussolini
"The same emotions in man and woman are nonetheless dissimilar in tempo: consequently, man and woman never cease to misunderstand one another." - Friedrich Nietzsche
"Not for Moorcock the painful, infrequent excretion of dry little novels like so many rabbit pellets; his is the grand, messy flux itself, in all its heroic vulgarity, its unquenchable optimism, its enthusiasm for the inexhaustible variousness of things." - Angela Carter
"To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour. " - William Blake
"I have forced myself to contradict myself in order to avoid conforming to my own taste." - Marcel Duchamp
"We deny your internationalism, because it is a luxury which only the upper classes can afford; the working people are hopelessly bound to their native shores." - Benito Mussolini
"Not for Moorcock the painful, infrequent excretion of dry little novels like so many rabbit pellets; his is the grand, messy flux itself, in all its heroic vulgarity, its unquenchable optimism, its enthusiasm for the inexhaustible variousness of things." - Angela Carter
"To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour. " - William Blake
"I have forced myself to contradict myself in order to avoid conforming to my own taste." - Marcel Duchamp
Monday, October 31, 2011
Japanese Legendary Creatures
Aobōzu (青坊主 Blue Priest) are a type of Japanese yōkai (folk legend ghosts) that appear in 18th century artist Toriyama Sekien's book Gazu Hyakki Yakō.
The aobōzu is depicted in the Gazu Hyakki Yakō as a one-eyed buddhist priest standing next to a thatched hut, however as there is no explanation of the image, the aobōzu's specific characteristics remain unknown.[2]
It is believed that the aobōzu is the direct inspiration for the one-eyed priest hitotsume-kozō that is present in many yōkai drawings, such as Sawaki Suushi's Hyakkai-Zukan published in 1737.[3] There is also a theory that because the kanji ao (青) in its name also means inexperienced, it was depicted as a priest who has not studied enough.[4]
Hitotsume-kozō (一つ目小僧, "one-eyed boys") are monsters (obake) found in Japanese folklore. They are roughly the size of ten-year-old children, but otherwise resemble bald Buddhist priests. Their most distinctive feature, however, is a single, giant eye peering from the center of the face, along with a long tongue, much like a Tsukomogami monster.
Hitotsume-kozō are relatively harmless creatures, content to run about frightening human beings or telling loud people to be quiet (they enjoy silence). However, many people consider an encounter with a one-eyed goblin to be a bad omen. For this reason, the superstitious often leave bamboo baskets in front of their houses, as these are reputed to repel the creatures. A reason for this may be that, in seeing the basket's many holes, the hitotsume-kozō will see the basket as having many eyes, and run away jealous and ashamed at only having one.
Tsukumogami (付喪神, "artifact spirit") are a type of Japanese spirit. According to the Tsukumogami-emaki, tsukumogami originate from items or artifacts that have reached their 100th birthday and thus become alive and aware. Any object of this age, from swords to toys, can become a tsukumogami. Tsukumogami are considered spirits and supernatural beings, as opposed to enchanted items.
Tsukumogami vary radically in appearance, depending on the type of item they originated from as well as the condition that item was in. Some, such as tsukumogami originating from paper lanterns or broken sandals, can have tears which become eyes and sharp teeth, thus giving a horrifying visage. Others, such as worn prayer beads or teacups, may merely manifest faces and appendages, giving a warm and friendly appearance.
Though by and large tsukumogami are harmless and at most tend to play occasional pranks on unsuspecting victims, as shown in the Otogizōshi they do have the capacity for anger and will band together to take revenge on those who are wasteful or throw them away thoughtlessly. To prevent this, to this day some jinja ceremonies, such as the Hari Kuyō, are performed to console broken and unusable items.
It is said that modern items cannot become tsukumogami; the reason for this is that tsukumogami are said to be repelled by electricity.[1] Additionally, few modern items are used for the 100-year-span that it takes for an artifact to gain a soul.
An abumi-guchi (鐙口, lit. "stirrup mouth") is a strange, furry yōkai, or Japanese monster, that is illustrated in Sekien Toriyama's Gazu Hyakki Tsurezure Bukuro. It is a type of tsukumogami formed from a stirrup, usually one that once belonged to a fallen soldier. It is said that the abumi-guchi will wait where it lies for the fallen soldier to return.
Abura-akago (油赤子, "oil baby") is a creature illustrated in Toriyama Sekien's Konjaku Gazu Zoku Hyakki,(Konjaku Gazu Zoku Hyakki (今昔画図続百鬼?, "The Illustrated One Hundred Demons from the Present and the Past") is the second book of Japanese artist Toriyama Sekien's famous Gazu Hyakki Yakō series, published ca. 1781. These books are supernatural bestiaries, collections of ghosts, spirits, spooks and monsters, many of which Toriyama based on literature, folklore, other artwork. These works have had a profound influence on subsequent yōkai imagery in Japan.) as an infant spirit lapping oil out of an andon lamp.
Sekien's accompanying notes describe it:
Aka Manto (Red Cape) is a Japanese urban legend about a malicious spirit who haunts public and school toilets, who will ask you if you want red paper or blue paper. In some version he will ask you if you want a red or blue cape. Often described as a beautiful man in life and hounded constantly by admirers, he now wears a mask to hide his face.
If you're sitting on the toilet (usually the last stall), a mysterious voice will ask you if you want red paper or blue paper. If you answer red paper, you will be sliced apart till your clothes are stained red. If you choose blue paper, you will be strangled till your face turns blue. Any attempt to trick Aka Manto by asking for a different colour will result in you being dragged to the netherworld. The only correct answer to say is 'No paper'.
Aka Manto is sometimes referred to as Aoi Manto (Blue Cape).
Sometimes the voice will ask you if you want a cape rather than paper. If you agree to red, the skin on your back is ripped off to resemble a red cape. If you ask for blue, all the blood is drained from your body.
One popular version of the story changes the choice from red paper to a red vest:
A police man and woman were called to a school after a student reported hearing a male voice in the girl's bathroom. The police woman went to the bathroom while her male partner waited outside. When inside the stall a voice asked “Shall we put on the red vest?” The police man outside, who was listening at the door, heard his partner answer “Yes”. A sudden scream and loud thud followed. When the policeman opened the bathroom door, he found the police woman decapitated. Her blood had soaked into her vest, turning it red.
Another version of the story says that if you ask for yellow paper, you have your head forced into the toilet you've just used.
Akabeko (赤べこ Akabeko, red cow) is a traditional toy from the Aizu region of Japan. The toy is made from two pieces of papier-mâché-covered wood, shaped and painted to look like a red cow or ox. One piece represents the cow's head and neck and the other its body. The head and neck hangs from a string and fits into the hollow body. When the toy is moved, the head thus bobs up and down and side to side.
Aizu legend claims that the toys are based on a real cow that lived in the 9th century and showed its devotion to Buddha by willing its soul away or by refusing to leave the site of a temple it had helped to construct. The earliest akabeko toys were created in the late 16th or early 17th century. Over time, people came to believe that the toys could ward off smallpox and other illnesses. Akabeko has become one of Fukushima Prefecture's most famous crafts and a symbol of the Aizu region.
According to an Aizu-area legend recorded by Thomas Madden, akabeko toys are based on a real cow that lived in AD 807. At that time, a monk named Tokuichi was supervising the construction of Enzō-ji, a temple in Yanaizu. Upon the temple's completion, a red ox that had been used to haul timber to the site gave its spirit to Buddha, and its flesh immediately turned to stone. Another version of the tale claims that the cow instead refused to leave the temple grounds after construction had been completed and became a permanent fixture there. The red cow was called akabeko (赤べこ akabeko, beko is Aizu dialect for cow) and became a symbol of zealous devotion to the Buddha.[1]
Akabeko toys date to the late 16th or early 17th century. Toyotomi Hideyoshi had solidified his power over Japan, and he sent his representative, Gamō Ujisato, to be the lord of the Aizu region in 1590. At his new post, Ujisato heard the story of akabeko and ordered his court artisans, who had accompanied him from Kyoto, to create a toy based on the red cow. These early papier-mâché akabeko introduced most of the basic elements for which the toy is known.[1]
In the same period, Japan suffered a smallpox outbreak. People in Aizu noticed that children who owned akabeko toys did not seem to catch the illness.[1] The akabeko's red color may have enhanced this association, since red amulets are thought to protect against that illness.[2][3] Akabeko toys became very popular as charms to ward off sickness, a superstition that persists in modern times. The toy has since become one of the few crafts from Fukushima Prefecture to be known all over Japan[1] and a symbol of the Aizu area.[4]
An Akashita (赤舌, lit. "red tongue") is a yōkai that appeared in Toriyama Sekien's Gazu Hyakki Yakō. It is drawn as a beast with clawed hands and a hairy face, with most of its body hidden in a black cloud over a floodgate. In its open mouth is a large tongue. Sekien did not attach an explanatory note, so it is not certain whether he intended it as an original creation, but it may be related to the shakuzetsujin (赤舌神, lit. "red-tongued god") which guards the western gate of Jupiter. It may also be related to the shakuzetsunichi (赤舌日), a day of bad luck in Onmyōdō.
Oni or Akki(鬼) are creatures from Japanese folklore, variously translated as demons, devils, ogres or trolls. They are popular characters in Japanese art, literature and theatre.[1]
Depictions of oni vary widely but usually portray them as hideous, gigantic creatures with sharp claws, wild hair, and two long horns growing from their heads.[2] They are humanoid for the most part, but occasionally, they are shown with unnatural features such as odd numbers of eyes or extra fingers and toes.[3] Their skin may be any number of colors, but red and blue are particularly common.[4][5]
They are often depicted wearing tiger-skin loincloths and carrying iron clubs, called kanabō (金棒). This image leads to the expression "oni with an iron club" (鬼に金棒 oni-ni-kanabō), that is, to be invincible or undefeatable. It can also be used in the sense of "strong beyond strong", or having one's natural quality enhanced or supplemented by the use of some tool.[6][7]
he word "oni" is sometimes speculated to be derived from on, the on'yomi reading of a character (隠) meaning to hide or conceal, as oni were originally invisible spirits or gods which caused disasters, disease, and other unpleasant things. These nebulous beings could also take on a variety of forms to deceive (and often devour) humans. Thus the Chinese character 鬼 (Mandarin Pinyin: kuí; Jyutping: gwai2) meaning "ghost" came to be used for these formless creatures.
The invisible oni eventually became anthropomorphized and took on its modern, ogre-like form, partly via syncretism with creatures imported by Buddhism, such as the Indian rakshasa and yaksha, the hungry ghosts called gaki, and the devilish underlings of Enma-Ō who punish sinners in Jigoku (Hell).
Another source for the oni's image is a concept from China and Onmyōdō. The northeast direction was once termed the kimon (鬼門, "demon gate"), and was considered an unlucky direction through which evil spirits passed. Based on the assignment of the twelve zodiac animals to the cardinal directions, the kimon was also known as the ushitora (丑寅), or "ox tiger" direction, and the oni's bovine horns and cat-like fangs, claws, and tiger-skin loincloth developed as a visual depiction of this term.[8]
Temples are often built facing that direction, and Japanese buildings sometimes have L-shaped indentions at the northeast to ward oni away. Enryakuji, on Mount Hiei northeast of the center of Kyoto, and Kaneiji, in that direction from Edo Castle, are examples. The Japanese capital itself moved northeast from Nagaoka to Kyoto in the 8th century.[9]
ome villages hold yearly ceremonies to drive away oni, particularly at the beginning of Spring. During the Setsubun festival, people throw soybeans outside their homes and shout "Oni wa soto! Fuku wa uchi!" ("鬼は外！福は内！", " Oni go out! Blessings come in!").[10] Monkey statues are also thought to guard against oni, since the Japanese word for monkey, saru, is a homophone for the word for "leaving". Folklore has it that holly can be used to guard against Oni.[11] In Japanese versions of the game tag, the player who is "it" is instead called the "oni".[12]
In more recent times, oni have lost some of their original wickedness and sometimes take on a more protective function. Men in oni costumes often lead Japanese parades to ward off any bad luck, for example. Japanese buildings sometimes include oni-faced roof tiles called onigawara (鬼瓦), which are thought to ward away bad luck, much as gargoyles in Western tradition.[13]
Oni are prominently featured in the Japanese children's story Momotaro (Peach Boy), and the book The Funny Little Woman.
Many Japanese idioms and proverbs also make reference to oni. For example, the expression oya ni ninu ko wa oni no ko (親に似ぬ子は鬼の子) means literally "a child that does not resemble its parents is the child of an oni," but it is used idiomatically to refer to the fact that all children naturally take after their parents, and in the odd case that a child appears not to do so, it might be because the child's true biological parents are not the ones who are raising the child. Depending on the context in which it is used, it can have connotations of "children who do not act like their parents are not true human beings," and may be used by a parent to chastise a misbehaving child. Variants of this expression include oya ni ninu ko wa onigo (親に似ぬ子は鬼子) and oya ni ninu ko wa onikko (親に似ぬ子は鬼っ子).[14] It is also well known in japan a game named kakure oni (隠れ鬼), or more commonly kakurenbo, that means chase the demon and it is the same as the hide and seek game that kids in western countries play.
The aobōzu is depicted in the Gazu Hyakki Yakō as a one-eyed buddhist priest standing next to a thatched hut, however as there is no explanation of the image, the aobōzu's specific characteristics remain unknown.[2]
It is believed that the aobōzu is the direct inspiration for the one-eyed priest hitotsume-kozō that is present in many yōkai drawings, such as Sawaki Suushi's Hyakkai-Zukan published in 1737.[3] There is also a theory that because the kanji ao (青) in its name also means inexperienced, it was depicted as a priest who has not studied enough.[4]
Hitotsume-kozō (一つ目小僧, "one-eyed boys") are monsters (obake) found in Japanese folklore. They are roughly the size of ten-year-old children, but otherwise resemble bald Buddhist priests. Their most distinctive feature, however, is a single, giant eye peering from the center of the face, along with a long tongue, much like a Tsukomogami monster.
Hitotsume-kozō are relatively harmless creatures, content to run about frightening human beings or telling loud people to be quiet (they enjoy silence). However, many people consider an encounter with a one-eyed goblin to be a bad omen. For this reason, the superstitious often leave bamboo baskets in front of their houses, as these are reputed to repel the creatures. A reason for this may be that, in seeing the basket's many holes, the hitotsume-kozō will see the basket as having many eyes, and run away jealous and ashamed at only having one.
Tsukumogami (付喪神, "artifact spirit") are a type of Japanese spirit. According to the Tsukumogami-emaki, tsukumogami originate from items or artifacts that have reached their 100th birthday and thus become alive and aware. Any object of this age, from swords to toys, can become a tsukumogami. Tsukumogami are considered spirits and supernatural beings, as opposed to enchanted items.
Tsukumogami vary radically in appearance, depending on the type of item they originated from as well as the condition that item was in. Some, such as tsukumogami originating from paper lanterns or broken sandals, can have tears which become eyes and sharp teeth, thus giving a horrifying visage. Others, such as worn prayer beads or teacups, may merely manifest faces and appendages, giving a warm and friendly appearance.
Though by and large tsukumogami are harmless and at most tend to play occasional pranks on unsuspecting victims, as shown in the Otogizōshi they do have the capacity for anger and will band together to take revenge on those who are wasteful or throw them away thoughtlessly. To prevent this, to this day some jinja ceremonies, such as the Hari Kuyō, are performed to console broken and unusable items.
It is said that modern items cannot become tsukumogami; the reason for this is that tsukumogami are said to be repelled by electricity.[1] Additionally, few modern items are used for the 100-year-span that it takes for an artifact to gain a soul.
An abumi-guchi (鐙口, lit. "stirrup mouth") is a strange, furry yōkai, or Japanese monster, that is illustrated in Sekien Toriyama's Gazu Hyakki Tsurezure Bukuro. It is a type of tsukumogami formed from a stirrup, usually one that once belonged to a fallen soldier. It is said that the abumi-guchi will wait where it lies for the fallen soldier to return.
Abura-akago (油赤子, "oil baby") is a creature illustrated in Toriyama Sekien's Konjaku Gazu Zoku Hyakki,(Konjaku Gazu Zoku Hyakki (今昔画図続百鬼?, "The Illustrated One Hundred Demons from the Present and the Past") is the second book of Japanese artist Toriyama Sekien's famous Gazu Hyakki Yakō series, published ca. 1781. These books are supernatural bestiaries, collections of ghosts, spirits, spooks and monsters, many of which Toriyama based on literature, folklore, other artwork. These works have had a profound influence on subsequent yōkai imagery in Japan.) as an infant spirit lapping oil out of an andon lamp.
Sekien's accompanying notes describe it:
- In the eighth town of Ōtsu in Ōmi ("Afumi") Province there exists a flying ball-like fire. (近江国 （あふみのくに） 大津の八町に玉のごとくの火飛行 （ひぎやう） する事あり。)
- The natives say that long ago in the village of Shiga there was a person who stole oil, and every night he stole the oil from the Jizō of the Ōtsu crossroads, but when this person died his soul became a flame and even now they grow accustomed to this errant fire. (土人云、むかし志賀の里に油をうるものあり、夜毎に大津辻の地蔵の油をぬすみけるが、その者死て魂魄炎となりて今に迷ひの火となれるとぞ。)
- If it is so then the baby which licks the oil is this person's rebirth. (しからば油をなむる赤子は此ものの再生せしにや。)
Aka Manto (Red Cape) is a Japanese urban legend about a malicious spirit who haunts public and school toilets, who will ask you if you want red paper or blue paper. In some version he will ask you if you want a red or blue cape. Often described as a beautiful man in life and hounded constantly by admirers, he now wears a mask to hide his face.
If you're sitting on the toilet (usually the last stall), a mysterious voice will ask you if you want red paper or blue paper. If you answer red paper, you will be sliced apart till your clothes are stained red. If you choose blue paper, you will be strangled till your face turns blue. Any attempt to trick Aka Manto by asking for a different colour will result in you being dragged to the netherworld. The only correct answer to say is 'No paper'.
Aka Manto is sometimes referred to as Aoi Manto (Blue Cape).
Sometimes the voice will ask you if you want a cape rather than paper. If you agree to red, the skin on your back is ripped off to resemble a red cape. If you ask for blue, all the blood is drained from your body.
One popular version of the story changes the choice from red paper to a red vest:
A police man and woman were called to a school after a student reported hearing a male voice in the girl's bathroom. The police woman went to the bathroom while her male partner waited outside. When inside the stall a voice asked “Shall we put on the red vest?” The police man outside, who was listening at the door, heard his partner answer “Yes”. A sudden scream and loud thud followed. When the policeman opened the bathroom door, he found the police woman decapitated. Her blood had soaked into her vest, turning it red.
Another version of the story says that if you ask for yellow paper, you have your head forced into the toilet you've just used.
Akabeko (赤べこ Akabeko, red cow) is a traditional toy from the Aizu region of Japan. The toy is made from two pieces of papier-mâché-covered wood, shaped and painted to look like a red cow or ox. One piece represents the cow's head and neck and the other its body. The head and neck hangs from a string and fits into the hollow body. When the toy is moved, the head thus bobs up and down and side to side.
Aizu legend claims that the toys are based on a real cow that lived in the 9th century and showed its devotion to Buddha by willing its soul away or by refusing to leave the site of a temple it had helped to construct. The earliest akabeko toys were created in the late 16th or early 17th century. Over time, people came to believe that the toys could ward off smallpox and other illnesses. Akabeko has become one of Fukushima Prefecture's most famous crafts and a symbol of the Aizu region.
According to an Aizu-area legend recorded by Thomas Madden, akabeko toys are based on a real cow that lived in AD 807. At that time, a monk named Tokuichi was supervising the construction of Enzō-ji, a temple in Yanaizu. Upon the temple's completion, a red ox that had been used to haul timber to the site gave its spirit to Buddha, and its flesh immediately turned to stone. Another version of the tale claims that the cow instead refused to leave the temple grounds after construction had been completed and became a permanent fixture there. The red cow was called akabeko (赤べこ akabeko, beko is Aizu dialect for cow) and became a symbol of zealous devotion to the Buddha.[1]
Akabeko toys date to the late 16th or early 17th century. Toyotomi Hideyoshi had solidified his power over Japan, and he sent his representative, Gamō Ujisato, to be the lord of the Aizu region in 1590. At his new post, Ujisato heard the story of akabeko and ordered his court artisans, who had accompanied him from Kyoto, to create a toy based on the red cow. These early papier-mâché akabeko introduced most of the basic elements for which the toy is known.[1]
In the same period, Japan suffered a smallpox outbreak. People in Aizu noticed that children who owned akabeko toys did not seem to catch the illness.[1] The akabeko's red color may have enhanced this association, since red amulets are thought to protect against that illness.[2][3] Akabeko toys became very popular as charms to ward off sickness, a superstition that persists in modern times. The toy has since become one of the few crafts from Fukushima Prefecture to be known all over Japan[1] and a symbol of the Aizu area.[4]
An Akashita (赤舌, lit. "red tongue") is a yōkai that appeared in Toriyama Sekien's Gazu Hyakki Yakō. It is drawn as a beast with clawed hands and a hairy face, with most of its body hidden in a black cloud over a floodgate. In its open mouth is a large tongue. Sekien did not attach an explanatory note, so it is not certain whether he intended it as an original creation, but it may be related to the shakuzetsujin (赤舌神, lit. "red-tongued god") which guards the western gate of Jupiter. It may also be related to the shakuzetsunichi (赤舌日), a day of bad luck in Onmyōdō.
Oni or Akki(鬼) are creatures from Japanese folklore, variously translated as demons, devils, ogres or trolls. They are popular characters in Japanese art, literature and theatre.[1]
Depictions of oni vary widely but usually portray them as hideous, gigantic creatures with sharp claws, wild hair, and two long horns growing from their heads.[2] They are humanoid for the most part, but occasionally, they are shown with unnatural features such as odd numbers of eyes or extra fingers and toes.[3] Their skin may be any number of colors, but red and blue are particularly common.[4][5]
They are often depicted wearing tiger-skin loincloths and carrying iron clubs, called kanabō (金棒). This image leads to the expression "oni with an iron club" (鬼に金棒 oni-ni-kanabō), that is, to be invincible or undefeatable. It can also be used in the sense of "strong beyond strong", or having one's natural quality enhanced or supplemented by the use of some tool.[6][7]
he word "oni" is sometimes speculated to be derived from on, the on'yomi reading of a character (隠) meaning to hide or conceal, as oni were originally invisible spirits or gods which caused disasters, disease, and other unpleasant things. These nebulous beings could also take on a variety of forms to deceive (and often devour) humans. Thus the Chinese character 鬼 (Mandarin Pinyin: kuí; Jyutping: gwai2) meaning "ghost" came to be used for these formless creatures.
The invisible oni eventually became anthropomorphized and took on its modern, ogre-like form, partly via syncretism with creatures imported by Buddhism, such as the Indian rakshasa and yaksha, the hungry ghosts called gaki, and the devilish underlings of Enma-Ō who punish sinners in Jigoku (Hell).
Another source for the oni's image is a concept from China and Onmyōdō. The northeast direction was once termed the kimon (鬼門, "demon gate"), and was considered an unlucky direction through which evil spirits passed. Based on the assignment of the twelve zodiac animals to the cardinal directions, the kimon was also known as the ushitora (丑寅), or "ox tiger" direction, and the oni's bovine horns and cat-like fangs, claws, and tiger-skin loincloth developed as a visual depiction of this term.[8]
Temples are often built facing that direction, and Japanese buildings sometimes have L-shaped indentions at the northeast to ward oni away. Enryakuji, on Mount Hiei northeast of the center of Kyoto, and Kaneiji, in that direction from Edo Castle, are examples. The Japanese capital itself moved northeast from Nagaoka to Kyoto in the 8th century.[9]
ome villages hold yearly ceremonies to drive away oni, particularly at the beginning of Spring. During the Setsubun festival, people throw soybeans outside their homes and shout "Oni wa soto! Fuku wa uchi!" ("鬼は外！福は内！", " Oni go out! Blessings come in!").[10] Monkey statues are also thought to guard against oni, since the Japanese word for monkey, saru, is a homophone for the word for "leaving". Folklore has it that holly can be used to guard against Oni.[11] In Japanese versions of the game tag, the player who is "it" is instead called the "oni".[12]
In more recent times, oni have lost some of their original wickedness and sometimes take on a more protective function. Men in oni costumes often lead Japanese parades to ward off any bad luck, for example. Japanese buildings sometimes include oni-faced roof tiles called onigawara (鬼瓦), which are thought to ward away bad luck, much as gargoyles in Western tradition.[13]
Oni are prominently featured in the Japanese children's story Momotaro (Peach Boy), and the book The Funny Little Woman.
Many Japanese idioms and proverbs also make reference to oni. For example, the expression oya ni ninu ko wa oni no ko (親に似ぬ子は鬼の子) means literally "a child that does not resemble its parents is the child of an oni," but it is used idiomatically to refer to the fact that all children naturally take after their parents, and in the odd case that a child appears not to do so, it might be because the child's true biological parents are not the ones who are raising the child. Depending on the context in which it is used, it can have connotations of "children who do not act like their parents are not true human beings," and may be used by a parent to chastise a misbehaving child. Variants of this expression include oya ni ninu ko wa onigo (親に似ぬ子は鬼子) and oya ni ninu ko wa onikko (親に似ぬ子は鬼っ子).[14] It is also well known in japan a game named kakure oni (隠れ鬼), or more commonly kakurenbo, that means chase the demon and it is the same as the hide and seek game that kids in western countries play.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
User generated Info
What enables hatred as public performance? What other effects come from the combination of the same sources?
There are many factors that enable hatred as a performance. One is the fact we are able to comment on things people say. This allows for people to leave comments voicing their opinions which can lead to arguments. Second is the chat room, with no one knowing your true identity it allows people to be mean or nice. In a way the internet allows a person to show their different sides. They can be good or bad.
What is user-generated organization?
A organization or web site where users create the content that is posted on that site. Wikis and blogs are both great examples of user-generated content.
What is user-generated distribution?
Users use places like Amazon for user-distribution. Amazon is a place where people create a post selling a object they have.
What is user-generated commentary?
Youtube is one of the most popular places for user based commentary. The commentary can be on any subject so long as 1. You can see the speakers face 2. The speaker uses reliable information 3. he/she speaks clearly.
What is the purpose of media?
To inform people, sell products, or entertain. Media informs people through recent events such as the news. Advertising media tries to sell you items like movies or hair care. Media such as movies or TV shows entertain us through sounds and colors.
What is … and why do we care about … networked individualism?
Network individualism is a place-place and person-person item. The reason we care is because we enjoy communicating person to person. With this in mind allowing the network to go to different places based on the user and allowing them to communicate.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
My opinion on social networking.
Though social networking can be called a second life and is growing in popularity it is still a long ways off from being real life. Social networking is ever changing based on wants from the population. First people play Farmville then they go to another game like Pocketgod. The games people play are ever changing as they get bored with it; this is the same with social sites. As the years go by even they will go out of fashion like platform boots or frilled shirts they will disappear for awhile. Then 40-50yrs later something new but based on the old will come into style yet again. It is a never ending cycle because there is only so many ideas before ideas repeat.
A very recent example of something old being turned into something new are TV shows. Two TV shows in particular. Voltron and Thundercats the 2010-2011 versions are remakes of very old shows that i use to watch as a child. Facebook will probably die like these shows as people become bored and turn to a newer social network.
I believe in time social networking will die. People will turn to a newer resource similar to Kinect to communicate and create their second lives. Kinect is a wonderful social experience using a motion sensing camera to actually increase your experience as you play. With this in mind social networking sites will become online video chats with across country games and translators so people can talk and understand each other.
Again this my opinion and it is based on personal experience. I have played Facebook for many years and now I rarely if ever play Facebook any more.
A very recent example of something old being turned into something new are TV shows. Two TV shows in particular. Voltron and Thundercats the 2010-2011 versions are remakes of very old shows that i use to watch as a child. Facebook will probably die like these shows as people become bored and turn to a newer social network.
I believe in time social networking will die. People will turn to a newer resource similar to Kinect to communicate and create their second lives. Kinect is a wonderful social experience using a motion sensing camera to actually increase your experience as you play. With this in mind social networking sites will become online video chats with across country games and translators so people can talk and understand each other.
Again this my opinion and it is based on personal experience. I have played Facebook for many years and now I rarely if ever play Facebook any more.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Something Funny: Cats Power tomorrow
Rolling on the floor laughing my butt off.
Don't ask cause I don't Know. Laugh out Loud.
Comparing of Social Sites
FEATURES:
Facebook: Like button, chat bar, sharing, recent items, friends using items, postings and games.
Twitter: 140 word posts, following, studying, and constant mobile chatting.
Google+ : Sharing, Login through, friends, liking, posting, and games.
Myspace: a mood history, MultiMail, music playlists, profile layouts, Full name, and Print commands.
FUNCTIONALITY:
Facebook: widely used through computers and cellphones, easy to use, apps seperated into groups, and a commend section, used to follow groups, used for games, search bar.
Twitter: used by computer and cellphones, quick and easy, used to comment, used to follow friends/celebrities.
Google+ : Search bar, e-mail, commenting, games, friend chat, the liking button.
Myspace: easy to use, link navigation, music playlists, and posting.
USABILITY:
Facebook: easy and enjoyable to use. Everything u need is on the left hand side with chat on the right.
Twitter: Easy to use to an extent. It is easy to post and follow but hard to find people.
Google+ : Very easy to use and access. New features make the experience more enjoyable.
Myspace: Easy to use for friend requests and comments. Due to different page layouts specified by each user it may become difficult to navigate.
USER DEMOGRAPHIC AND POPULATION:
Facebook And Twitter:
Google+ : Has over 50million users to facebooks 500million.
Myspace:
Note: numbers increase by thousands. (so 100 is 100thousand)
MARKETING AND ADVERTISING:
Facebook: has increased advertising and buisness on the web. They have allow companies to connect and keep up to date on each other thus increasing their and the markets production and buyer rate. They have advertisements off to the right side on all app pages.
Twitter: Very few people advertise through twitter because of the fact no one really sees the advertisement unless they are on at that moment. Twitter has little impact on the marketing front.
Google+ : Has also had a impact on advertising by adding advertisements to some of their pages. They do not have as much impact on the buisness front but still help out some small buisness owners.
Myspace: Has many advertisements off to the side like facebook. Since they are a falling trend not as many buisness owners go to them to connect with other companies.
IMPACT ON SOCIETY AND CULTURE:
Facebook: It has allowed society to connect and learn together. It has allowed people of various culture communicate and enjoy something new. NEGATIVE EFFECT?
Twitter: Has allowed people to become more connected and learn news faster through instant updates to your cellphone.
Google+ : Has around the same effect as facebook and has opened the web to news updates from more than one country.
Myspace: Has connected many countries and has allowed communication between them.
IMPACT ON POLITICS:
Facebook: Many government officials have opened a facebook account to update the populance on recent political issues. In this way many people find out things that are going on much faster than usual.
Twitter: Government officials may have twitter accounts or third parties doing it for the officials. They update the postings in a manner to sway the public. They also may post recent events.
Google + : has the same impact of facebook.
Myspace: not really politically inclined most political pages are held by third party organizations that keep up to date on recent events.
IMPACT ON PRIVACY AND FREEDOM OF SPEECH:
Facebook: Though secure to an extent in truth you have more information available than you may like through them. Freedom of speech is not prohibited.
Twitter: Though has privacy standers it has actually very little privacy because everyone can see what you say. It does not prohibit freedom of speech on bit even though it has a small character limit.
Google+ : rather secure but like facebook holds some privacy issues. It does not prohibit freedom of speech.
Myspace: It is private but like facebook has issues. It does have speech prohibiting to and extent. It does not allow harrassment of explicit use of words.
FUNCTIONALITY:
Facebook: widely used through computers and cellphones, easy to use, apps seperated into groups, and a commend section, used to follow groups, used for games, search bar.
Twitter: used by computer and cellphones, quick and easy, used to comment, used to follow friends/celebrities.
Google+ : Search bar, e-mail, commenting, games, friend chat, the liking button.
Myspace: easy to use, link navigation, music playlists, and posting.
USABILITY:
Facebook: easy and enjoyable to use. Everything u need is on the left hand side with chat on the right.
Twitter: Easy to use to an extent. It is easy to post and follow but hard to find people.
Google+ : Very easy to use and access. New features make the experience more enjoyable.
Myspace: Easy to use for friend requests and comments. Due to different page layouts specified by each user it may become difficult to navigate.
USER DEMOGRAPHIC AND POPULATION:
Facebook And Twitter:
Myspace:
MARKETING AND ADVERTISING:
Facebook: has increased advertising and buisness on the web. They have allow companies to connect and keep up to date on each other thus increasing their and the markets production and buyer rate. They have advertisements off to the right side on all app pages.
Twitter: Very few people advertise through twitter because of the fact no one really sees the advertisement unless they are on at that moment. Twitter has little impact on the marketing front.
Google+ : Has also had a impact on advertising by adding advertisements to some of their pages. They do not have as much impact on the buisness front but still help out some small buisness owners.
Myspace: Has many advertisements off to the side like facebook. Since they are a falling trend not as many buisness owners go to them to connect with other companies.
IMPACT ON SOCIETY AND CULTURE:
Facebook: It has allowed society to connect and learn together. It has allowed people of various culture communicate and enjoy something new. NEGATIVE EFFECT?
Twitter: Has allowed people to become more connected and learn news faster through instant updates to your cellphone.
Google+ : Has around the same effect as facebook and has opened the web to news updates from more than one country.
Myspace: Has connected many countries and has allowed communication between them.
IMPACT ON POLITICS:
Facebook: Many government officials have opened a facebook account to update the populance on recent political issues. In this way many people find out things that are going on much faster than usual.
Twitter: Government officials may have twitter accounts or third parties doing it for the officials. They update the postings in a manner to sway the public. They also may post recent events.
Google + : has the same impact of facebook.
Myspace: not really politically inclined most political pages are held by third party organizations that keep up to date on recent events.
IMPACT ON PRIVACY AND FREEDOM OF SPEECH:
Facebook: Though secure to an extent in truth you have more information available than you may like through them. Freedom of speech is not prohibited.
Twitter: Though has privacy standers it has actually very little privacy because everyone can see what you say. It does not prohibit freedom of speech on bit even though it has a small character limit.
Google+ : rather secure but like facebook holds some privacy issues. It does not prohibit freedom of speech.
Myspace: It is private but like facebook has issues. It does have speech prohibiting to and extent. It does not allow harrassment of explicit use of words.
Monday, October 17, 2011
2 Questions
Is being Findable and Known on the Internet a good thing? It is when your a business person looking for more consumers to buy your product. There will always be a down side as well though. In being known people will also know of flaws that you have in your product or even personality. With this in mind just as many bad things can happen as good things. Therefore being known needs to be limited or it can become a bad thing.
Passive digital footprints can be store and contain data such as your IP address. This data can be accessed offline by administrators to view the actions performed on the machine, without being able to see who performed them.
Active digital footprints can also be stored by a user being logged into a site when making a post or edit. You can use a keylogger, to show actions performed on the machine, and who performed them.
PS: sorry this was late I had both my nieces this weekend and i didn't read your entire post Aimeep. Sorry about that I'll be more observant in the future.
Passive digital footprints can be store and contain data such as your IP address. This data can be accessed offline by administrators to view the actions performed on the machine, without being able to see who performed them.
Active digital footprints can also be stored by a user being logged into a site when making a post or edit. You can use a keylogger, to show actions performed on the machine, and who performed them.
PS: sorry this was late I had both my nieces this weekend and i didn't read your entire post Aimeep. Sorry about that I'll be more observant in the future.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Jokes Galore!!
ICE FISHING
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing.
She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made for the nearest frozen lake.
After positioning her comfy stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.
Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." Startled the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a Thermos of cappuccino and began to cut another.
Again from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." The blonde, now quite worried, moved down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
She stopped, looked skyward and said, "Is that you Lord?"
The voice replied, "No ... this is the Ice-Rink Manager...."
Blonde calls 911
The Vampire Bat
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.
He told them to go way ! And let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"OK, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.
Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees.
Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good!" said the first bat, "Because I didn't!"
Alligator In A Bar
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing.
She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made for the nearest frozen lake.
After positioning her comfy stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.
Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." Startled the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a Thermos of cappuccino and began to cut another.
Again from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." The blonde, now quite worried, moved down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
She stopped, looked skyward and said, "Is that you Lord?"
The voice replied, "No ... this is the Ice-Rink Manager...."
Blonde calls 911
A blonde dials 911 to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, and even the accelerator!" she cries.
The 911 dispatcher says, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way. He will be there in two minutes."
Before the police get to the crime scene, however, the 911 dispatcher's telephone rings a second time, and the same blonde is on the line again.
"Never mind," giggles the blonde, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
The 911 dispatcher says, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way. He will be there in two minutes."
Before the police get to the crime scene, however, the 911 dispatcher's telephone rings a second time, and the same blonde is on the line again.
"Never mind," giggles the blonde, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
Blind man telling blonde joke
A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a barstool. After ordering a drink and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet.In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde and she's a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet.In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde and she's a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
Hospital
A redhead, brunette, and blonde are all in the hospital waiting to give birth.
The redhead turns to the brunette and says, " I was on top so im going to have a girl"
The brunette looks at the redhead and says " Well i was on the bottom so i'm going to have a boy".
All of a sudden they both hear snifflin, and turn to look at the blonde and she is crying and bawling her eyes out, and they say " Whats the matter honey?"
The blonde says with a sad face " I'm gonna have puppy's!!"
The redhead turns to the brunette and says, " I was on top so im going to have a girl"
The brunette looks at the redhead and says " Well i was on the bottom so i'm going to have a boy".
All of a sudden they both hear snifflin, and turn to look at the blonde and she is crying and bawling her eyes out, and they say " Whats the matter honey?"
The blonde says with a sad face " I'm gonna have puppy's!!"
God and the Blonde Nun
One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. "My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish," said God.
"Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways," said the nun.
"There must be something you would have of me," said God.
"Well, there is one thing," she said.
"Just name it," said God.
"It's those blonde jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blond jokes to stop."
"Consider it done," said God. "Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do just for you."
"There is one thing. But it's really small, and not worth your time," said the nun.
"Name it. Please," said God.
"It's the M&M's," said the nun. "They're so hard to peel."
"Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways," said the nun.
"There must be something you would have of me," said God.
"Well, there is one thing," she said.
"Just name it," said God.
"It's those blonde jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blond jokes to stop."
"Consider it done," said God. "Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do just for you."
"There is one thing. But it's really small, and not worth your time," said the nun.
"Name it. Please," said God.
"It's the M&M's," said the nun. "They're so hard to peel."
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.
He told them to go way ! And let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"OK, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.
Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees.
Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good!" said the first bat, "Because I didn't!"
Alligator In A Bar
A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar. He turned to the astonished patrons and said, 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the 'gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed.
In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.' The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The 'gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head.
The 'gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. 'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.'
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up at the end of the bar and a woman timidly spoke up.
'I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with a beer bottle.'
In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.' The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The 'gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head.
The 'gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. 'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.'
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up at the end of the bar and a woman timidly spoke up.
'I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with a beer bottle.'
Cat In Heaven
The Scene: The Pearly Gates to Heaven. St Peter is receptionist at the entrance. - A cat shows up.
St Peter says "I know you! You were a very nice cat on earth and didn't cause any trouble, so I want to offer a gift to you of one special thing you have always wanted."
Cat: "Well, I did always long to own a nice satin pillow like my master had, so I could lie on it."
St Peter: "That's easy. Granted. You shall have the satin pillow after you enter in."
Next a group of mice appeared.
St Peter: "Ah, I remember you. You were such good mice on earth. You didn't steal food from anyone's house and never hurt other animals. Therefore, I want to grant you one special wish you always wanted."
The Chief Mouse replied, "Well, we always watched the children playing and saw them roller skate, and it was beautiful, and it looked like so much fun. So can we each have some roller skates, please?"
St Peter: "Granted. You shall have your wish."
Next day, St Peter is making the rounds inside the Gates, and sees the cat.
"Well, Cat...Did you enjoy the satin pillow?"
Cat: "Oh, indeed I did. And say...that "Meals on Wheels" thing was a nice touch, too!"
St Peter says "I know you! You were a very nice cat on earth and didn't cause any trouble, so I want to offer a gift to you of one special thing you have always wanted."
Cat: "Well, I did always long to own a nice satin pillow like my master had, so I could lie on it."
St Peter: "That's easy. Granted. You shall have the satin pillow after you enter in."
Next a group of mice appeared.
St Peter: "Ah, I remember you. You were such good mice on earth. You didn't steal food from anyone's house and never hurt other animals. Therefore, I want to grant you one special wish you always wanted."
The Chief Mouse replied, "Well, we always watched the children playing and saw them roller skate, and it was beautiful, and it looked like so much fun. So can we each have some roller skates, please?"
St Peter: "Granted. You shall have your wish."
Next day, St Peter is making the rounds inside the Gates, and sees the cat.
"Well, Cat...Did you enjoy the satin pillow?"
Cat: "Oh, indeed I did. And say...that "Meals on Wheels" thing was a nice touch, too!"
Talkin' Dog
A young boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him. "Hmmmm," he wonders, "How am I gonna get more dough?"Then he gets an idea. He calls his father. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Fido how to talk!"
"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course."
So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again. "So how's Fido doing, son?" his father asks.
"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"
"READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." ....And his father sends the money. At the end of the semester, the boy has a problem. When he gets home, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he gets home, his father is all excited. "Where's Fido? I just can't wait to hear him talk and listen to him read something!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of the shower, Fido was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does.Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?' "
The father says, "I hope you SHOT that lyin' son of a bitch!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!
"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course."
So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again. "So how's Fido doing, son?" his father asks.
"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"
"READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." ....And his father sends the money. At the end of the semester, the boy has a problem. When he gets home, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he gets home, his father is all excited. "Where's Fido? I just can't wait to hear him talk and listen to him read something!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of the shower, Fido was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does.Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?' "
The father says, "I hope you SHOT that lyin' son of a bitch!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!
My Dog Named Sex
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.
When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.
He said, "I would like to have one too!"
Then I said, "But she is a dog!"
He said he didn't care what she looked like.
I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old."
He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding.
He told me to wait until after the wedding was over.
I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex."
He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church.
I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding.
The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on.
When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me.
When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex.
He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex.
I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night."
The clerk said, "Me too!"
One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away.
Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around.
I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest.
He said that I should have sold my own tickets.
"You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV."
He called me a show off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog.
I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married."
The Judge said, "Same here!"
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning.
I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw.
Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?"
I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I can't live any longer being so lonely."
And the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so go get yourself a dog."
When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.
He said, "I would like to have one too!"
Then I said, "But she is a dog!"
He said he didn't care what she looked like.
I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old."
He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding.
He told me to wait until after the wedding was over.
I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex."
He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church.
I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding.
The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on.
When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me.
When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex.
He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex.
I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night."
The clerk said, "Me too!"
One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away.
Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around.
I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest.
He said that I should have sold my own tickets.
"You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV."
He called me a show off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog.
I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married."
The Judge said, "Same here!"
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning.
I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw.
Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?"
I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I can't live any longer being so lonely."
And the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so go get yourself a dog."
The Stuttering Cat
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. 'Human beings are the only animals that stutter', she says.
A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered', she volunteered.
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'
'That must've been scary', said the teacher.
'It sure was', said the little girl. 'My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'...And before he could say 'F*ck', the Rottweiler ate him!'
The teacher wet her pants laughing.......
A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered', she volunteered.
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'
'That must've been scary', said the teacher.
'It sure was', said the little girl. 'My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'...And before he could say 'F*ck', the Rottweiler ate him!'
The teacher wet her pants laughing.......
3 Men, 3 Wishes
Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician than said, ''You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide you shall land a a huge glass of that drink.
The first man went down yelling, ''Beerrr!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of beer.
The second guy went down the slide yelling,''lemonadeee!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of lemonade.
The third guy went down the slide yelling ''wheeeeeeeee!!!''
The first man went down yelling, ''Beerrr!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of beer.
The second guy went down the slide yelling,''lemonadeee!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of lemonade.
The third guy went down the slide yelling ''wheeeeeeeee!!!''
Lawyer Defending Thief
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:
"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."
The defendant smiled.
With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."
The defendant smiled.
With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
The Lawyer And The Blonde
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now some what agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his coworkers and friends. All to no avail.
After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
The lawyer, now some what agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his coworkers and friends. All to no avail.
After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
How Things Work!
Hardware - this is everything that the cables put onto your computer.
Router - a physical form that stores data.
Client - the users computer that requests data from the router.
Server - the "host" that sends and receives requests and data from client to router.
IP Address - the computers own unique code similar to a mailbox.
Nodes - gathering points in which data is sent along and splits.
Protocol - a set of rules that the computer must follow.
Router - a physical form that stores data.
Client - the users computer that requests data from the router.
Server - the "host" that sends and receives requests and data from client to router.
IP Address - the computers own unique code similar to a mailbox.
Nodes - gathering points in which data is sent along and splits.
Protocol - a set of rules that the computer must follow.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Test central
Strange I still got the in class 95% lol. I probably got the accidantally wrong... i can't spell. =^-^= (accidentally)I keep a pocket sized dictionary in my purse for these occasions.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Meme post
Hey I'm writing about popular Memes. I know the THIS IS SPARTA... fad has been really popular. there is also the I accidentally... thing as well as the ever popular fad of IN Your Pants.
I accedentally misspelled accidentally.
Linkin Park In your Pants.
I accedentally misspelled accidentally.
Linkin Park In your Pants.
Starting out
It's my first time blogging and i hope to get to know many other bloggers. I'm actually creating this for a collage course. I chose blogger because i didn't have to download or pay for anything. So far I am really enjoying the layout of the site and hope to do some exploring soon.
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